Finding Normal
by Wepdiggy
Summary: The spy life sucks, and it robs you of a chance for "normal" love. Or does it? Sarah/Devon
1. Finding Normal

_Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck._

_A/N: Okay, so in my opinion, no one character gets shat on more in Chuck fic than Devon. I mean, the guy is awesome. It's right in his name. So I set out for a nice little treat for the Captain. This is what follows. Charah shipper be warned. This isn't the fic for you. Oh, and if there are any Devon/Ellie shippers, same goes for you. Oh, and no promises, but there may be an epilogue to this one-shot at some point. We'll see. I hope you enjoy it, and please review. Thanks!

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**Finding Normal**

_Overhand left. Right hook. Side kick. Front kick. Side kick. _

Sarah wailed away at the punching bag. She'd been in Castle's gym for at least two hours trying to work out her frustrations, and still, even imagining the bag was Chuck's face, it wasn't working.

All she had wanted was to be normal. She wanted a normal life, with a normal boyfriend, maybe one day a normal engagement and a normal wedding, and hopefully at some point, normal children. But every day since Chuck decided to upload that God forsaken Intersect, since he decided to become a _real_ spy, her dreams of "normal" drifted further and further away.

He was supposed to be her ticket out of the CIA and out of the covert life. He was supposed to be her ticket to a white picket fence, lazy Sunday mornings lying in bed cuddling. He was supposed to be her ticket away from the life she'd grown to loathe and to the life she'd always wanted, even if she'd never admitted it.

Just thinking about all she'd lost made her even angrier. Her kicks and punches on the inanimate object became even more fierce. Her hands, even through the padded gloves, were beginning to ache. Just then, saw the monitor to her right light up. Someone was in the store. With one final, malicious blow to the punching bag accompanied by a primal scream, Sarah quickly began trying to get herself fixed up enough to face her customer.

She slipped out of her track pants and into her white Capri pants. She threw on her orange tank-top over her sports bra and pulled on her Orange Orange hoodie. Rushing up the steps of Castle, she haphazardly pulled her hair back into a ponytail and prepared to enter the freezer. She knew the sweat she'd worked up down in the gym would leave her smelling a little less than stellar, but if it offended whoever the asshole who decided frozen yogurt at nine-thirty in the morning was, she could live with that.

Sarah stepped out of the freezer, and was greeted with the sight of…

"Oh, Devon. It's just you," she said, relaxing considerably. She was still a little out of breath from her flight back into the store proper.

Devon didn't meet her gaze, and Sarah could tell that something was wrong. His face was red, his shoulders slumped, and if she didn't know any better, she'd swear he'd been crying. "I didn't know who else to come to," he said softly. "I mean, I can't talk to any of my friends about this stuff. And it's Chuck's sister, so she's off limits. And John. Well, I think talking to a wall would be more productive."

"What's wrong?" she asked, trying to discern from his body language and voice and facial expression just what had Chuck's (damn him!) brother in-law so upset. He said he couldn't talk about it with friends, so it probably had something to do with spy stuff. Was he in trouble?

Devon didn't answer right out, instead reaching into his pocket and pulling out a tissue. As he unfolded the tissue, he revealed a ring. A very familiar ring. Sarah could never forget that particular piece of jewelry. Not after the morning long dumpster dive she'd once partaken in to retrieve it.

"Is that…?" she asked.

"My great grandmother's ring. The one I gave to Ellie," Devon answered, his voice thick with emotion.

"Devon?"

"It's over. Ellie left me," he said, still not looking up from the floor.

"What happened?" Sarah asked, the concern she felt for the man showing in her voice. She might have hated Chuck at the moment, but Chuck, Ellie, and Devon were still people that she cared about.

"It's this damn spy," Devon started out loudly, bitterly. Realizing he was in public, he lowered his voice. "It's this spy stuff. Keeping secrets. It's just, since I started knowing what you guys do, it's been tearing us apart," he finished in a whisper, but the bitterness was still clear in his speech. Devon sighed. "I don't see how you guys do it, Sarah."

Sarah chuckled mirthlessly. "We don't," she said simply. Then added, "At least we don't do what you're talking about."

"But you and Chuck –"

"Chuck and I are _not_ together," Sarah said forcefully.

"But you seem so happy together," Devon said, his sadness from before seeming to leave him momentarily in favor of concern.

"Well," Sarah said, "we're not. I mean, I'm not, anyway."

"Why not?" Devon pushed.

Why not? Maybe because Chuck wasn't what he claimed to be. He wasn't normal. He wasn't the man that would lead her away from the shitty life of a spy. Not that she'd tell Devon all of that. Sarah sighed. "Come," she said plainly, beginning to walk back towards the freezer.

"Where are we going?" Devon asked, beginning to follow her.

"Casey keeps some booze stowed away in Castle. Figure you could use a drink," she said shrugging her shoulders and not breaking stride. Truth was, she didn't really know what to say to him. She knew all too well what the life of lying and spying could do to a relationship, to a family.

Since all of the Intersect shit started, she'd lost her first love; she'd met a guy that she _thought_ was everything she could ever want in a man, they'd been so close to finally starting something real that could last forever, but he turned out to be just another spy when he uploaded that goddamn Intersect 2.0; oh, and she hadn't gotten laid in over two years. Yeah, she knew how fucked up the covert life was. And while she didn't want to talk about it herself, it might actually help to hear Devon pour out his sorrows. Misery does love company after all, she reminded herself.

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Sarah led Devon down into Castle, telling him to have a seat at the center table. She went and got two glasses from the kitchen, and opened Casey's "secret" compartment to produce a nice full bottle of Glenviet Single Malt. She didn't actually plan to drink herself, but if Devon's wailing and gnashing of teeth got to be too much, she just might have a sniff.

She returned to the table and poured Devon a nice tall glass, which he immediately started drinking.

"I never thought it would end like this," he confessed right off. "I thought we would be together forever. We'd have kids, and a nice house in the suburbs. You know, the American Dream."

And that's all it took to make Sarah start drinking. "Yeah, I know what you mean," she said, taking her first large, stinging pull, straight from the bottle.

For the next hour, Devon went on about all the hopes and dreams he'd had for him and Ellie. They were mostly the same dreams Sarah had for herself. Devon wanted "normal" just like she did. And the spy life had robbed him of that, just like it had robbed her of that life. It wasn't fair, at all, and she told him as much. That was really about as much as she contributed to the conversation, but Devon didn't seem to mind. Sarah admired that about him. Chuck would have been pushing her to say something. To tell him something.

Why couldn't she have met someone like Devon? He clearly wanted nothing to do with being a spy. He was a doctor, and he was happy with his normal profession. He also wasn't bad to look at.

"…so what am I supposed to do?" Devon asked, finished his diatribe.

"I'm sorry, wha-what?" Sarah asked, smiling sheepishly. She'd gotten too deep in her fantasies and had forgotten to listen. "I kind of zoned out there."

"I mean, I can't just start over, can I? Where am I going to find someone? And now that I know everything I know about you guys, how can I possibly be involved with anyone else?" he asked dejectedly.

Sarah looked at him sympathetically. How could she tell this man that was pouring his heart out to her that in fact he _couldn't _find anyone else? How could she tell him that because he was involved with this spy shit that he was doomed to a loveless life that would never approach normal? But something caused her not to answer negatively. Maybe it was the booze. "Maybe you just need someone that understands," she said softly. Realizing what he would think she meant, she flushed with embarrassment and took the last swig from the bottle.

"You mean a spy?" Devon asked skeptically.

"Why not?" Sarah asked without thinking. She was embarrassed by her words again and to take attention away from the blush that was rising to her cheeks, she got up to take Devon's empty glass away.

"I don't really know any spies," he explained.

"You know me!" Sarah snapped. Dammit! Why couldn't she shut her stupid mouth?

"Yeah, but. Wait. Are you saying…?"

Sarah didn't answer with words. Instead she pulled Devon's head to her and crushed her lips against his. She knew it was a mistake, but she needed this, and she knew he did too.

Devon was clearly in shock at first. He was stiff against her grasp, his lips not moving. Within seconds however, he started to return the kiss in kind and Sarah had to admit that he was a damn good kisser.

The glasses she'd been holding before fell to the floor. She was pretty sure they broke. She was also pretty sure that she didn't care. As the kiss continued, Sarah found herself sitting in Devon's lap, straddling him. Everything about what was happening was incredibly wrong, she knew intellectually, but somehow it felt right.

They wanted the same things from life. They wanted a real marriage, they wanted a family with kids, they wanted the American Dream. And by the urges she felt growing in her gut, and the growing bulge she felt when she ground her hips down into Devon's, they both wanted sex, like right now.

Sarah reached down and began to pull Devon's shirt from his pants. He looked a little surprised at first, but quickly he was lifting his arms to help her remove it. He then returned the favor, freeing her from her tank top and sports bra.

She began to tug at his belt buckle when she felt him grab her hands.

"Sarah," he breathed hoarsely. "I – I don't know if we should."

"I do," she said huskily. "And we should." She'd waited a long, long time to feel someone inside of her again, and dammit, she wasn't going to stop now.

Devon didn't argue anymore and freed his grasp on Sarah's wrists. She quickly removed his belt and stood him up so she could take off his pants. No sooner was Devon standing in front of her stark naked than he'd pushed her down on the table and started to pull at her Capris. Sarah lifted her hips so he could slide her pants off.

Devon settled between her legs, preparing to enter her, and just then, their eyes connected. The lust they shared was evident in their stare. But just before it went any further, Devon's head hung. He swallowed dryly.

"No!" Sarah demanded. "You're not backing out on me now."

"No, it's just – I don't have a condom," Devon said dejectedly.

Sarah heaved a sigh of relief. A smile spread across her face. "Look in the pocket of my pants," she said.

"You carry condoms around?" Devon asked.

"Yeah. There was an incident, and I was with someone, and I really wanted to, but we couldn't. Anyway, since it happened, I'm never unprepared now."

"Awesome," was all he said as he pulled the prophylactic from the pocket of Sarah's discarded pants. Devon tore open the package and rolled the condom down over his cock. He took a step forward and then Sarah felt him pressing against her entrance. She sucked in a breath as he pushed inside of her.

Sarah winced in pain as Devon penetrated her tight hole. He must have noticed, because he paused. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.

Sarah took a couple of long breaths. In through her mouth, out through her nose. "Yeah," she said weakly. "I'm fine." She smiled up at him and began to rock her hips just slightly, hoping it would encourage him to go forward. Oh, and it did.

Devon began to move in and out of her, slow at first, but as they continued his speed increased. Sarah moved her pelvis to match each one of his thrusts.

Their movements became more and more frantic. Sarah felt her walls begin to tighten around Devon's rock hard cock as he continued to saw into her. Her orgasm came fast and hard, and she screamed out a long wordless cry. And even as she was coming down from her own climax, she felt Devon stiffen above her. He buried himself to the hilt inside her velvety folds and came deep within her.

When he was spent, Devon pulled Sarah from the table, not removing himself from her. He sat back down in the chair and held her body tight against his. And in that moment, Sarah got just what she wanted. She was just a normal girl, being held by a normal guy. She never wanted it to end.

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_A/N: You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	2. Epilogue I

_A/N: Okay, when I set out to write an epilogue, I ran into a few issues. Just how did I want this to end? The problem is, I'm not sure how I want it to end! So I came up with a few different scenarios. This is just the first. It's kind of the uber happy ending. The others will not be that, I can assure you. And maybe I don't even write the others, I'm not sure. But this one I certainly wanted to write. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and please review. Thanks!

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**Six years later…**

The first rays of morning light lit the bedroom. Sarah woke to the sound of birds chirping just outside her window that had been left open to allow the fresh late springtime air to fill the house with the wonderful smell of life renewed. Sarah breathed deep the scent, and snuggled deeper into the embrace of her husband, whose muscular arm was thrown across her, holding her in the spoon position.

She felt him begin to stir.

"Mornin', babe," Devon said sleepily as he pressed a kiss to her neck.

"Mmmhmm," Sarah hummed. Teasingly she ground her still well toned backside into her husband's groin.

"Feeling naughty this morning I see," Devon whispered against her ear, his warm breath causing her to shudder. It amazed her that he still had that effect on her. Before Sarah could answer, he lightly pulled her chin around to face him and kissed her lips lightly.

"Do you think we have time before –"

Sarah's question was cut off as the bedroom door was flung open.

"Mommy, daddy!" shouted the voice of the rambunctious little boy standing just in front of his sister. Both children had blond hair and blue eyes, just like their parents. Both were tall for five year olds. Little Ryan was the perfect image of his father. He was loud and very outgoing. Lori on the other hand was much more like her mother. She was very shy, very unassuming, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that she'd be a heartbreaker when she got a bit older.

"Good morning baby!" Sarah said enthusiastically. True, she wouldn't have minded a little morning glory with her husband, but she always had time for the twins. They were the most important people in her life.

"You didn't forget, did you?" Ryan asked, crossing his arms.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Devon teased the little boy.

"The water park!" the little boy exclaimed indignantly. "It opens today and you said we could go!"

"Oh did we now?" Devon asked, feigning ignorance.

"You did say we could go," Lori piped up softly.

"Then I guess you guys better help me drag your mom out of bed, then," Devon said.

No sooner had the words left his mouth than the two five year olds ran across the room and jumped onto the king-size bed. They started to pull the covers off of Sarah and tried to pull her up by her hand.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Sarah groaned, trying to suppress the giggle that was bubbling up in her throat.

"Hey, how about a hug for your parents?" Devon asked.

The two kids wrapped their little arms around Sarah and held her as tight as they could even as Sarah returned the hug. Devon came behind them all and pulled them all into a tight embrace.

As she held her babies, and Devon held them all in his strong arms, Sarah sighed happily. This was all she'd ever wanted, and even if she'd had to kiss a few toads on the way, she finally had her prince charming and the life of happiness she'd always dreamed of.

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_A/N: You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	3. Epilogue II

_A/N: Okay, when I set out to write an epilogue, I ran into a few issues. Just how did I want this to end? The problem is, I'm not sure how I want it to end! So I came up with a few different scenarios. This is just the second. For those of you that read the first epilogue, this one will seem very familiar at first. Then it goes way off course. There may be one more alternate ending at some point. I'm not sure yet, but keep an eye out for it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and please review. Thanks!

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_**Six years later…**_

_The first rays of morning light lit the bedroom. Sarah woke to the sound of birds chirping just outside her window that had been left open to allow the fresh late springtime air to fill the house with the wonderful smell of life renewed. Sarah breathed deep the scent, and snuggled deeper into the embrace of her husband, whose arm was thrown across her, holding her in the spoon position._

_She felt him begin to stir._

_"Mornin', babe," Devon said sleepily as he pressed a kiss to her neck._

_"Mmmhmm," Sarah groaned. Teasingly she ground her still well toned backside into her husband's groin._

_"Feeling naughty this morning I see," Devon whispered against her ear, his warm breath causing her to shudder. It amazed her that he still had that effect on her. Before Sarah could answer, he lightly pulled her chin around to face him and kissed her lips lightly._

_"Do you think we have time before –"_

_Sarah's question was cut off as the bedroom door was flung open._

_"Mommy, daddy!" shouted the voice of the rambunctious little boy standing just in front of his sister. Both children had blond hair and blue eyes, just like their parents. Both were tall for five year olds. Little Ryan was the perfect image of his father. He was loud and very outgoing. Lori on the other hand was much more like her mother. She was very shy, very unassuming, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that she'd be a heartbreaker when she got a bit older._

_"Good morning baby!" Sarah said enthusiastically. True, she wouldn't have minded a little morning glory with her husband, but she always had time for the twins. They were the most important people in her life._

_"You didn't forget, did you?" Ryan asked, crossing his arms._

_"I don't know what you're talking about," Devon teased the little boy._

_"The water park!" the little boy exclaimed. "It opens today and you said we could go!"_

_"Oh did we now?" Devon asked, feigning ignorance._

_"You did say we could go," Lori piped up softly._

_"Then I guess you guys better help me drag your mom out of bed, then," Devon said._

_No sooner had the words left his mouth than the two five year olds ran across the room and jumped onto the king-size bed. They started to pull the covers off of Sarah and tried to pull her up by her hand._

_"I'm coming, I'm coming," Sarah groaned, trying to suppress the giggle that was bubbling up in her throat._

_"Hey, how about a hug for your parents?" Devon asked._

_The two kids wrapped their little arms around Sarah and held her as tight as they could even as Sarah returned the hug. Devon came behind them all and pulled them all into a tight embrace._

_As she held her babies, and Devon held them all in his strong arms, Sarah sighed happily. This was all she'd ever wanted, and even if she'd had to kiss a few toads on the way, she finally had her prince charming and the life of happiness she'd always dreamed of._

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**Back to present day…**

Sarah awoke with a smile on her face. She'd had dreams like the one she just experienced for some time. Occasionally she would have them when she was with Bryce, but deep down she knew that he would never be the family man type. Then when she'd met Chuck, the dreams of a normal life became more persistent. For the longest time, she believed that they were nothing _but_ dreams, but as the Intersect project continued, she came to realize that she wanted that, and that Chuck could be the one to help her achieve that life.

Then Chuck turned into a big idiot who wanted to be a spy, and her dreams had been dashed again. Then Devon came along. At first, Sarah thought that what they had was just sex. It was a release shared between two people who had their hearts broken. They were just helping one another out. But as their torrid affair continued, she started to think of their connection in a much deeper, more romantic way.

Since he'd had to leave home, Devon really didn't have anywhere to stay, so Sarah had been more than happy to let him stay with her. Of course Chuck being all caught up with his new spy status hadn't thought anything about Sarah offering her home to Devon. No one, except maybe Casey suspected that anything was going on between the blonde CIA agent and the doctor. And if Casey knew, he wasn't saying anything. As long as the team continued to function, Casey was never one to complain anyway.

But the team wouldn't continue to function much longer if Sarah had her way. True, at first Devon had been nothing but a fuck buddy to her, but she was starting to see him as more. No, she didn't love him, and she didn't know if she ever would or could, but he was at least normal. He could give her the life of her dreams, and all she would have to do was to keep him satisfied. Speaking of…

Sarah rolled over to her bed mate who was still asleep. No doubt she'd worn him out pretty good the night before. Certainly Ellie didn't know the things Sarah knew how to do to a man. But Sarah was starting to want him in other ways, and she'd have to step her game up. She'd have to make herself valuable to him.

Moving as quietly as possible, she slid her body down to Devon's groin, kissing his muscular chest and abs lightly as she went. When she reached his manhood, she kissed him once more, just above his cock, and then took him into her mouth. She threw the covers off of him, and began to suck him softly and sweetly.

Even still asleep, Devon's member began to grow and harden in her mouth. She smiled as she continued to bob her head up and down, taking more of his length every time. She saw Devon begin to stir under her ministrations, and she marveled at how his well tones legs and abs, and chest, and arms (damn he was sexy!) rippled with just his small movements. She hears him let out a sleepy, but manly groan as he explodes in her mouth.

Sarah swallows his essence, and slides her body back up beside his. She presses a soft kiss to his cheek, throwing a leg over him so that he can feel how wet she is with arousal. Her soft breasts rest against Devon's firm, torso. Sarah sighed. "Good morning, lover," she said softly.

Devon seemed to tense under her touch, and Sarah looked at him worriedly. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Sarah, I," Devon paused. He seemed to be looking for the right words. But the right words for what? "I've been doing some thinking?"

"What have you been thinking about?" Sarah said, trying to hide the fear that was beginning to bubble up in her gut.

"I shouldn't be doing this," Devon said softly.

"Devon –"

"No, Sarah. I'm still married! And things might be bad right now, but I have to try to save my marriage. I have to try to get Ellie to take me back," he explained.

"But what about us?" Sarah asked pathetically. _What about our future? What about you falling in love with me, and giving me the life I've always wanted? What about all of that?_

"Sarah, you said it yourself after the first time we were together. This is just sex. We've just been helping each other out. But this isn't real."

Tears began to form in Sarah's eyes. It had been a long time since she'd felt so used. So dirty. And never had she regretted saying something as much as she regretted telling Devon that what they had meant nothing. She'd only said it to protect herself, but now it was coming back to bite her in the ass.

"But I thought…" she choked out.

"Shhh," Devon soothed. "It's okay. I won't tell anyone about this. This can just be out little secret. You're good at keeping secrets, right?" he joked.

"Right," Sarah said sadly. After all, what was her life but a series of secrets? What she wanted just never seemed to matter. But she couldn't live like that anymore. She had to get out. There still had to be a white knight out there for her somewhere, right? A normal guy that could actually love her. Not like Bryce, or Chuck, or apparently Devon, who was no different than any other man had ever been in her life. "I guess I'll see you later," she lied.

And even as Devon left her hotel room for the last time, Sarah began packing a small bag. She had to get away from LA. She had to get away from the heartache. She didn't know where she needed to be, but it wasn't there anymore.

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_A/N: You guys are awesome. Peace. _


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